dunnah*delirious

birthday na ni daddy bukas...

2011-11-17T16:21:00.003+08:00

Missing You

No words I write can ever say
How much I miss you every day.
As time goes by, the loneliness grows;
How I miss you, nobody knows!
I think of you in silence,
I often speak your name,
But all I have are memories
And photos in a frame.
No one knows my sorrow,
No one sees me weep,
But the love I have for you
Is in my heart to keep.
I've never stopped loving you
I'm sure I never will;
Deep inside my heart,
You are with me still.
Heartaches in this world are many
But mine is worse than any.
My heart still aches as I whisper low,
"I need you and I miss you so."
The things we feel so deeply
Are often the hardest to say,
But I just can't keep quiet any more,
So I'll tell you anyway.
There is a place in my heart
That no one else can fill;
I love you so, Dad,
And I always will.

Author Unknown

Cancer.

2011-06-24T11:24:00.004+08:00

Kapalaran Mo Ngayong Araw Na Ito

look at my kapalaran for today, 24june2011

grabe, andami kong tawa! :D

Love: Pag-aawayan ninyo theme song ninyo

Money: Kapag nabasag itlog, magluto ng omelette

Career: Huwaw! Ikaw ang lalapitan ng trabaho

ooooooooookay, so pag aawayan namin theme song namin? nyeh. bakit naman? i don't think that'll ever happen, diba bee? :P

tama nga naman, pag nabasag itlog, magluto ng omelette... pero mas gusto ko ihalo sa noodles. perfect for the weather! haha :)

itong kapalaran ko sa career pinakagusto ko. i'm leaving for cebu tomorrow at sana totoong ako ang lalapitan ng trabaho. "huwaw!" daw o! nyaaahhahaha :D

what's my favorite color?

2011-06-24T10:27:00.005+08:00

ipod case, dangling earrings, nails, bag, flipflops = green!

raided my closet and i only found 4 green-colored ones. my favorite's the old navy tee:

a present from karen's boyfie jedi:

the green thingies:

from veekeeroo:

also from veekee:

haha, and this too:

go green! :D

Show and Tell Thursdays!

2011-06-23T23:10:00.006+08:00

lemme show/tell you what i've been up to this summer... this is a super late post, i opened my garage sale sometime late april, i've already closed shop. so yeah, this is indeed a late post. who cares, nobody reads my crap anyway. hahaha :P

my little tindera promoting our banana turon:

so there you have it, my garage sale and its different configurations. hehe :)

want

2011-06-17T13:56:00.003+08:00

super dooper want this for my ipod. in hot pink. yeah!

Let's run, Cebu!

2011-06-13T14:28:00.003+08:00

i'm gonna be leaving for Cebu in a couple of days.

gameplan:

1. get a job.

2. move in to a new apartment.

3. relocate H and mum.

of course, in between this, i'll be working on being fit.

i'm thinking of getting myself a gym membership, i don't know... but more than anything, i want to run. once i get a job, i'm hoping my schedule will allow me to run and not beat me up with mothereffin' stress at the office.

dexter made it a point that i get good running shoes but i have zero knowledge on what to get. i told him i want green running shoes. appearance over comfort. hahaha! i found this pair of nike free shoes that i like. my plan was to get my long lost ninang to buy me shoes, since she kept on asking what i wanted for pasalubong but oooooh no that cannot be, carry one! haha! dexter says i should really try the shoes on before buying it. he says the size of the shoe may be the same but the insole fit may not be right and i have to check the arc of my foot and my pronation, that's why the shoes must be tried on -- they must fit perfectly on my friggin' feet before i buy them.

like not knowing which shoe to get, i also have zero knowledge on running in general. the dextromethorphan suggests i do research because he thinks i think running is a piece of cake. he says it would be nice if i'd get the perfect shoes so running would be a great experience, otherwise i would be wasting money and risking an injury. so he recommends checking out nike shoes with dynamic support.

oh well, anyway, since i will be buying my own shoes... what do you think should i ask for pasalubong?

look at us

2011-06-08T15:01:00.002+08:00

if dad was here, he'd shake his head in disappointment.

i'm sorry, dad. all i ever want was for all of us to be together, but since you've been gone it seems that things took a turn at the wrong alley. i don't know what to do anymore. i wish you were here to tell me which direction to tread.

fuck this shit.

2011-06-07T17:06:00.000+08:00

I CANNOT WAIT TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

Echo (Trapt)

2011-06-06T03:09:00.002+08:00

Close my eyes

Let the whole thing pass me by

There is no time to waste

Asking why?

I'll run away with you, by my side

I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride

(Asking why?)

I think about your face

And how I fall into your eyes

The out moment I trace around the one that I call mine

Time to count more space

And beware that your drew the line

I don't need you solve this case

And I don't need to look behind

Close my eyes

Let the whole thing pass me by

There is no time to waste

Asking why?

I'll run away with you, By my side

I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride

(Asking why?)

Do I except you change, the past I hold inside?

With all the words I say

Repeating over in my mind

Some things you cant erase

No matter how hard you try

An exit to escape

Is all there is left to find

Close my eyes

Let the whole thing pass me by

There is no time to waste

Asking why?(Asking why)

I'll run away with you, by my side

I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride

Until this echo, echo, echo, echo in my mind

Until this echo, echo, echo, echo can subside

So I,

Close my eyes

Let the whole thing pass me by

There is no time to waste

Asking why?

I'll run away with you, by my side

I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride

Until this echo, echo, echo, echo in my mind

Until this echo, echo, echo, echo can subside

view video

LSS

2011-05-31T12:53:00.002+08:00

my head's been playing two songs over and over for the past 2weeks now:

Sextape

Deftones

Floating under

Water ever

Changing

Picture hours out from

Land in tune with all our

Dreams

The ocean takes me

Into the watch you shake it

Watch you wave your powers

Tempt with hours of pleasure

Take me one more time

Take me one more wave

Take me for one last ride

I’m out of my head

Tonight

The sound of the waves collide

Tonight

We ride

Cruising through

The city after Hours

With me

Fusing all our

Powers Here’s to all our dreams

Take me one more time

Take me one more wave

Take me for one last ride

I’m out of my head

Tonight

Tonight the sound of the waves collide

Tonight

We ride

Three Rounds and a Sound

Blind Pilot

They're playing our song

Can you see the lights?

Can you hear the hum?

Of our song

I hope they get it right

I hope we dance tonight

Before we, get it wrong

And the seasons

Will change us new

Be the best I've known

and you know me

I could not be stuck on you

If it were true

I was sleeping

My eyes were dark

Til you woke me

And told me that opening

is just the start

it was

Now I see you, til kingdom come

You're the one I want

To see me for all the stupid shit I've done

(Chorus)

Soil and six feet under

Killed just like we were

Before you knew you'd know me

And you know me

Blooming up from the ground

3 Rounds and a sound

Like whispering you know me

And you know me

So this was our song

This was our song

I still see the lights

I can see them

And the criss cross

Of what is true, won't get to us

Cause you know me

I could not give up on you

And the fog of what is right

Won't cover us cause you know me

I could not give up a fight

(Chorus Time)

watching the time go by

2011-05-26T15:34:00.005+08:00

Charlotte Surf Watch

Aurora Surf Watch

Holly Pu Surf Watch

Candy Silicone Surf Watch

i am not a fan of wrist accessories but i want a watch. i want to wear something on my wrist. it's always a struggle to find the right one. i had this favorite watch when i was 7, wore it for a couple of years. it was a cool shade of green and it had a silicone-ish strap. i've had leather strapped watches before but they always made my wrist itch. figured if i'd get another watch, it must have a donna-friendly strap. haha :) came across these watches from ripcurl. there are candy-colored watches but i don't know... black's always safe. *shrug*

if you ever need to know what time it is, come find me (once i get my hands on one of these!).

hits.

2011-05-26T00:12:00.002+08:00

i wonder who wandered and became the 666th hit. haha :D

tanghalian.

2011-05-23T08:41:00.003+08:00

ice-cold buko juice

blanched fresh kamote tops

sarap nito! kakapitas lang na kamatis at preskong preskong kamote tops!

okoy, anyone?

impromptu salad

2011-05-23T00:34:00.005+08:00

check out my healthy masterpiece. LOL. i improvised because we did not have olive oil and balsamic vinegar in our pantry. anyway, i'm not a fan of those measuring thingamajigs so lemme just tell you what i used to come up with this treat:

my TLC: Tomato, Lettuce, Carrots.

my dressing: rice wine, vinegar, calamansi juice, white sugar, brown sugar, grated ginger, vegetable oil, sesame oil, salt and pepper.

topping: mom's homemade longganisa, shredded to bits.

slacking?

2011-05-22T09:51:00.002+08:00

who, me? NOT!

been without internet connection for a while now. i have a lot of shit i want to post here but it's so passé. anyway, i will try to catch up. haha :)

fish fillets!

2011-03-24T14:19:00.004+08:00

grabe, ansarap! malasugi fillets in our secret batter. i assure you, it TASTES better than it looks!

sweetie is getting married!

2011-03-24T13:01:00.003+08:00

and it's going to be in Mati, with balloons! this is gonna be fun! :D

congrats Cielo and Brad! see you in October!

(photo credit: AP Photo/Ricardo Moraes)

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/12/2008_in_photographs_part_2_of.html#photo32

praning.

2011-03-23T23:53:00.002+08:00

nakakapraning ang mga pangyayari sa mundo recently.

makagawa nga ng sariling go bag.

jogging with H.

2011-03-18T09:33:00.004+08:00

this would be the second time H went to jog with us. check out the first time here.

view the complete set of today's jog here.

i don't get it.

2011-03-17T17:23:00.009+08:00

nobody deserves such a tragedy as the tsunami in Japan. it's not a friggin' joke you guys. karma? what has karma got to do with this shit?

i came across this* on tumblr and i was like, WTF? i can only shake my head.

such hypocrites.

*http://karmajapan.tumblr.com collated tweets from heartless people attributing the tragedy to karma, that Japan had it coming for what happened in the past (remember Pearl Harbor?) and whaling.

P.S. i don't condone whaling or violence of any sort. so heh. just my two cents.

there is order in chaos.

2011-03-16T12:45:00.004+08:00

A letter from Sendai

Things here in Sendai have been rather surreal. But I am very blessed to have wonderful friends who are helping me a lot. Since my shack is even more worthy of that name, I am now staying at a friend's home. We share supplies like water, food and a kerosene heater. We sleep lined up in one room, eat by candlelight, share stories. It is warm, friendly, and beautiful.

During the day we help each other clean up the mess in our homes. People sit in their cars, looking at news on their navigation screens, or line up to get drinking water when a source is open. If someone has water running in their home, they put out a sign so people can come to fill up their jugs and buckets.

It's utterly amazingly that where I am there has been no looting, no pushing in lines. People leave their front door open, as it is safer when an earthquake strikes. People keep saying, "Oh, this is how it used to be in the old days when everyone helped one another."

Quakes keep coming. Last night they struck about every 15 minutes. Sirens are constant and helicopters pass overhead often.

We got water for a few hours in our homes last night, and now it is for half a day. Electricity came on this afternoon. Gas has not yet come on. But all of this is by area. Some people have these things, others do not. No one has washed for several days. We feel grubby, but there are so much more important concerns than that for us now. I love this peeling away of non-essentials. Living fully on the level of instinct, of intuition, of caring, of what is needed for survival, not just of me, but of the entire group.

There are strange parallel universes happening. Houses a mess in some places, yet then a house with futons or laundry out drying in the sun. People lining up for water and food, and yet a few people out walking their dogs. All happening at the same time.

Other unexpected touches of beauty are first, the silence at night. No cars. No one out on the streets. And the heavens at night are scattered with stars. I usually can see about two, but now the whole sky is filled. The mountains are Sendai are solid and with the crisp air we can see them silhouetted against the sky magnificently.

And the Japanese themselves are so wonderful. I come back to my shack to check on it each day, now to send this e-mail since the electricity is on, and I find food and water left in my entranceway. I have no idea from whom, but it is there. Old men in green hats go from door to door checking to see if everyone is OK. People talk to complete strangers asking if they need help. I see no signs of fear. Resignation, yes, but fear or panic, no.

They tell us we can expect aftershocks, and even other major quakes, for another month or more. And we are getting constant tremors, rolls, shaking, rumbling. I am blessed in that I live in a part of Sendai that is a bit elevated, a bit more solid than other parts. So, so far this area is better off than others. Last night my friend's husband came in from the country, bringing food and water. Blessed again.

Somehow at this time I realize from direct experience that there is indeed an enormous Cosmic evolutionary step that is occurring all over the world right at this moment. And somehow as I experience the events happening now in Japan, I can feel my heart opening very wide. My brother asked me if I felt so small because of all that is happening. I don't. Rather, I feel as part of something happening that much larger than myself. This wave of birthing (worldwide) is hard, and yet magnificent.

Thank you again for your care and Love of me,

With Love in return, to you all,

Anne

---

Juju posted this on facebook. Must read talaga. Nakakainggit ang mga Japanese, grabe ang disiplina nila. Sana ganito din tayo sa 'pinas. Sabi nga ni Toph, maski nung tsunami na mismo yung dumaan dun sa road, isa isa pa rin silang nag u-turn sa tamang u-turn slot. E dito? with or without disaster, basta walang parak -- sige go, u-turn lang. Nakakabilib talaga ang mga Hapon. God bless them.

Also, read this article: Japanese discipline rules despite disaster.

2011-03-12T20:35:00.000+08:00

READ

agutayan reef and marine sanctuary

2011-03-08T14:48:00.003+08:00

wow. first time ever that i posted something on facebook and comments and likes kept coming in. as in, non-stop! haha. sobrang ganda ng place, kahit mediocre photographer pwedeng makapagproduce ng magagandang pictures. babalik ako doon. :)

revisiting.

2011-03-03T13:20:00.004+08:00

i'm such a big fan of flowerpot, not only because the toph plays the guitar for them *girly giggles* but because they make awesome music.

listen to their mystical sound here.

beach-bound!

2011-03-03T12:53:00.002+08:00

outing with my highschool batchmates tomorrow. off to some beach somewhere. i have no idea where but i'm pretty certain it would be grand. :)

H in Lomo

2011-03-01T16:11:00.001+08:00

MNL

2011-02-27T07:41:00.004+08:00

wow. withdrawal syndrome. everywhere i go, it's like "oi parang si kwan yun ah" ... then i remember i'm here, far away from the people i've spent the past 6years with.

i miss you, manila.

here's message from bert before i left. and man, naiiyak na naman ako.

Gilbert Quinan
Para sa taong walang ibang alam kundi maging masaya, saludo ako sa iyo!
Di tayo mag kadugo pero sa puso't diwa utol kita, tagay pa tayo.
Sana lang sa iyong pangingibang pulo iwan mo kahit kapiraso ng iyong puso.
Dito parin kami mga tropa mo pamilya mo!! Me babalikan ka pa dito!

...Have a safe trip chong! At least nagkita tayo bago ka umalis
'1st Bday ko yun!! hahaha SALAMAT!!!!
December 31, 2010 at 9:26am · · · See Friendship
- You like this.
- Donnadelle Manguiat leche ka mehn pinaiyak moko :P
  December 31, 2010 at 10:34am ·

which one?

2011-02-24T21:32:00.004+08:00

H and the donners

2011-02-24T11:48:00.001+08:00

♥

putanesca for the heart.

2011-02-14T11:21:00.000+08:00

gotta love your heart. and so, for this season of hearts, i made a heart-friendly pasta dish for the fam. ^_^

ULAAAAAAAAAN!

2011-02-09T10:18:00.004+08:00

ANSARAP MALIGO SA ULAN! :D

there's a video we took yesterday and you can check it HERE

pets.

2011-02-06T17:23:00.002+08:00

minggay the cat.

dongdong the dog.

mama loves them to bits.

and i'm beginning to fall in love with them haha :D

kamote!

2011-02-06T16:54:00.003+08:00

to those who have asked me what's my big plan here in cagayan de oro, if it was worth resigning from the cee vee gee... well, my eternal answer was: "magtatanim ng kamote!" (plant sweet potatoes!)

here is my proof. i was true to my word. my kamote garden. i shall never go hungry again! hahahaha! :D

i'm a big bully.

2011-02-06T07:36:00.003+08:00

after i posted this, i've written something on tumblr too.

this was rommel's reply:

Rommel Asiong February 6 at 12:48am Report

welcome donna!!! I really want you to have it!
I might have received the worst bullying in my life from you but it doesn't matter because you gave me a very important thing that money cant buy...... your friendship!

thank you, rommel!

2011-02-05T19:21:00.002+08:00

i've never had one of these before. that's probably because i don't drink coffee at Starbucks that much... anyway, thanks to Rommel -- meron na akong Starbucks planner! he had to commission someone to bring it to Cagayan de Oro so it can get to me. haha. thank you Chill! :)

choco-almond overload!

2011-02-03T21:48:00.003+08:00

our friend dexter's sister needed to bring something for teacher's day, so they ordered some of mom's chocolate moist cake. well, there were some left overs (ingredients) and i found almonds stored in the fridge... after roasting and crushing those lil bastards, i used them to top the cake. it was so yummeeeeeeh! melt-in-your-mouth goodness with a little crunch. mama did not know what to call it, so dr. obvious named it choco-almond overload :)

spanish style bangus

2011-02-01T18:51:00.003+08:00

we bought fresh bangus, soaked it in brine and added the spanish-style essentials. pressure cooked the bottled bangus... who would have thought this was home made? :) so yummy!

ako :)

2011-02-01T18:00:00.001+08:00

i heart you!

labyu too

kung papapiliin ka

stp o deftones?

5:57pm

ikaw 

ahahha

cheesy!

mama makes a mean pancake.

2011-01-28T17:33:00.000+08:00

my brother got excited and smothered his pancakes with the choc0-strawberry syrup. hehe.

H went jogging today :)

2011-01-26T17:19:00.010+08:00

H woke up early and picked her outfit and placed her companion, Little Turtle, in her left pocket...

...she was psyched to go jogging with Mommy and Grandma!

H said "hi" to Mr. Cow...

She wanted to stay with Mr. Cow...

...but figured it's best to jog with Grandma instead!

Suddenly, H realized that Little Turtle left her pocket :(

"Where is Turtle?", she cried.

This purple cupcake cheered her up, though.

On the walk home, Grandma found Little Turtle!

Turtle was run over by a few vehicles, we figured. He lost both his eyes which made our H cry.

"Don't worry my H, I will fix little Turtle. I will give him eyes!" said Grandma.

Grandma's assurance was enough to make H smile.

THANK YOU LOLA! ^_^

Look at Turtle now:

7th

2011-01-24T21:20:00.002+08:00

i got my 7th piercing today!!! (three piercings on my left ear, three on the right and one on the tongue)

thanks to my sister Karen. :)

from chex

2011-01-21T17:14:00.003+08:00

I'm Too Big
by Franchesca Casauay on Friday, January 21, 2011 at 4:13pm

and I'd love to shrink it all,
diet my personality,
sick of blubbering through my life
heart-broken, but ox-strong,
clench-toothed, sure-footed, swollen
solid like the ugly cactus plant
storing up lonely sips
of water.
If I could just have those stick legs,
loose and dangling in baggy dress slacks,
thighs too skinny to keep anyone warm,
or the cold puckered dot of a nipple,
too tight to nurture. Give me a belly
so small that it doesn't need much, so queasy,
it never loves so desperately this feeling,
of full.
I'm too big,
and I envy the fragile woman
with her long thin hands,
too tired just writing a thank you note
much less touching someone—
holding anything. Those small feet
stepping lightly, pitter-patting
her delicacy, scooting around the mess.
Or the oohs and aahs of her tiny gestures,
the simple tilt of her crème white neck,
the sunken clavicle, and the lilting spine
lacing up a smooth-skinned back
that can't hold much weight,
so none is ever put.
Her whispered sleep, sacred.
Her tiny words, momentous.
Her close-lipped smile, rare.
I wish I could surger myself
narrow my eyes, too wide-set, close up
my sinuses so I don't have these smells
to remember, or miss. Here, take a rib—
I'd rather not expand like this
every time I breathe. And oh,
for a smaller head.
I'd shrink it myself if I could,
place my hands on my temples
the way Rhett did Scarlett,
tussling her frizzy hair,
and squeeze, veins popping,
until I squashed out all my big ideas
about love.
I'm tired of being too much,
the whole Sunday paper
when you just want the classifieds,
the waste of gaudy Christmas decorations,
meat scraps thrown to the dogs.
And though I don't really believe that less
is more, or that not enough is pleasure,
I've yet to find the ones who love
a big mouth like mine, the laughing teeth,
and wine-filled cheeks, the throaty echo
of deep vowel sounds,
my big words.
And what's worse, I think I'm growing.

--Marguerite Scott

kitchen adventure

2011-01-21T12:34:00.003+08:00

chicken liver + gizzard. oriental style.

mama is on cyberspace!

2011-01-21T12:01:00.002+08:00

http://dellamanguiat.multiply.com

http://www.facebook.com/dellabibalmanguiat

ulan!

2011-01-19T17:28:00.002+08:00

weeeee! kanina, naligo kami sa ulan :D

gigantically enormous!

2011-01-18T21:12:00.005+08:00

went to arthur's new house today. house blessing. partehpartey! was with H and my brother jon. grabe ang ganda ng bahay. i was gonna take photos of it but super dami ng tao! hindi ko pa kilala ang mga bisita nya. anyway, the house was uber GINORMOUS! haha 7 HUGE bedrooms. basta. super laki at ganda ng bahay. since their house is just a few blocks (NOT!) away from ours, may bago na 'kong tambayan :) haha! :)

awesome

2011-01-18T13:06:00.002+08:00

sunrise. :D

2011-01-18T12:33:00.002+08:00

shopping for H's pressie. thanks Ces and Jay! :D

2011-01-16T11:59:00.000+08:00

The drunk texting always wins over for a fabulous story.

testing

2011-01-13T18:57:00.000+08:00

Sent from my iPod

connecting link

2011-01-12T19:37:00.002+08:00

pag wala akong kashot la na ko maaya

si aries at rommel

ayain mo

sana magshot2 pa rin kayo dyan

as if naman ako lang pwede nyong kashot

nakakatawa naman kayo 

ikaw ang connecting link eh

hahahha

super funny kayo 

day three.

2011-01-12T06:55:00.003+08:00

i'm getting used to this new routine. waking up at 430am to get a full-hour jog!

not only that it's good for my health, it's also good for nurturing my bond with mama. :)

jogging :)

2011-01-11T01:53:00.005+08:00

i did not make resolutions for 2011 because i've been making a list every year and i keep on procrastinating. this year, i'll start doing. got myself a notebook where i keep track of my stats, what i eat, and whatever exercise i'm doing. oh and i also got a weighing scale (i was afraid of this friggin' thingamajig before!).

i already started jogging :)

jogged with yaya and mama. we started 5am and finished 6am. full hour jog! had so much fun today. good company. great view. fresh air. awesome music.

let's see if i make progress.

never too late...

2011-01-11T01:24:00.003+08:00

... to try new things!

eversince i can remember, i never liked dressing up. i'm a t-shirt, jeans, slippers kind of girl. well, my mother took us shopping one day and asked that i try on this short-shorts. i did not want to, but all of them voted that i buy it with this black top.

sabi ni mama: feel sexy, look sexy!

i also bought another blouse, and skinny jeans. found a pair of nice sandals too!

haha :) so, yeah. fat is sexy. i love you mom! :)

broccoli

2011-01-11T01:04:00.003+08:00

sabi ni aries, mura na daw ang broccoli doon.

sabi ko naman, dito pinamimigay lang ang broccoli.

ito ang imbentong luto ni aling della: spaghetti + chicken wings + cauliflower + broccoli in carbonara sauce.

home sweet home

2011-01-04T10:11:00.000+08:00

a penny for my thoughts

2010-09-11T16:17:00.002+08:00

thought about writing again... it offers that kind of release, one which i can't describe. if i had to try, i'd say it's like that comfortable silence having a ciggie with your favorite buddy. you know there is no need for words, you are in a safe place and you are understood.

right now, i want to be understood. there are no perfect words. i wish i could write again.

Twat?!

2010-08-19T10:58:00.001+08:00

well, she asked me to go twitter.

but something is wrong with it - i caaaaaaaaaaaan't tweet.

dami ko pa namang sasabihn tungkol sa araw (at gabi) ko.

tsk.

homeward bound.

2010-03-16T14:53:00.001+08:00

i have missed you my cagayan de oro, but i never wanted to come back for this reason.

daddy, i will miss you forever.

2009-12-27T03:54:00.000+08:00

people stay in cagayan... (mukanta ang nakabalo)

2009-12-27T03:42:00.002+08:00

hello cee dee oh. i miss you so. you've changed so much in the span of five years. i feel like such a stranger in my own hometown... we don't live in our ancestral home anymore. we sold the house almost two years ago. i miss my old bedroom. i miss mom's garden. heck, i even miss our fishmonger neighbors! everything is just so different now... the streets and the neighborhood aren't so familiar, and the people too!
the new house is nice. homey. i love it that it is so cozy. i love it that i came home to the smell mom's newly baked goodies. i love it that we're all together for Christmas for the first time after 5years. i hope The Toph was here to experience home. at least there is a home, i keep reminding myself. but today, i got to see old faces and somehow, i got that sense of cagayan de oro back. i feel like i belong again. it does feel so wonderful to be back. oh, what'd i give to stay!

for some reason...

2009-12-04T03:45:00.002+08:00

wala lang. naalala ko nanood ako ng tv, napahinto ako sa isang channel kung san pinapalabas ang live from abbey road... napahinto ako dahil sa kanta. live. nakapanindig balahibo. kanta pala yun ni alanis morissette. perfect.

Sometimes is never quite enough
If you're flawless, then you'll win my love
Don't forget to win first place
Don't forget to keep that smile on your face

Be a good boy
Try a little harder
You've got to measure up
And make me prouder

How long before you screw it up
How many times do I have to tell you to hurry up
With everything I do for you
The least you can do is keep quiet

Be a good girl
You've gotta try a little harder
That simply wasn't good enough
To make us proud

I'll live through you
I'll make you what I never was
If you're the best, then maybe so am I
Compared to him compared to her
I'm doing this for your own damn good
You'll make up for what I blew
What's the problem, why are you crying

Be a good boy
Push a little farther now
That wasn't fast enough
To make us happy
We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect

dang it!

2009-11-11T00:55:00.002+08:00

after a very long time, i got to see dang again!
i was lucky i'm on cee vee gee hiatus ^_^
happy. just like the good ol' days.

2009-10-29T10:50:00.000+08:00

i have a lot of nothing to say.

the mummy.

2009-10-27T09:31:00.000+08:00

things i have in the closet

2009-10-13T09:07:00.001+08:00

(just shared this with kae. just need to document it. haha!)
i will always be emo.
even if it is just a closet thing. hihihi
:)

back to the CGY!

2009-10-08T11:44:00.005+08:00

I can NOT wait to spend Christmas and New Year in Cagayan de Oro!!!

hope the toph can come with us, sana pwede mag leave. :)

sana din may pera nako para makapagbook na ng ticket... habang mura pa. hehe.

after ondoy.

2009-10-06T12:21:00.005+08:00

thank you to those who sent monetary assistance -- auntie lu, veekee, and anne marie. we were able to buy food and other necessities. it was able to get us by and we still have something left for future use (for the next disaster, perhaps?) i really, really appreciate it. ♥

the house is clean now. thanks to ate carmen and her goons. thanks to gemma, too. some shit needs to be sorted out but yea, maybe later.

steve is alive. he may have lost a couple of limbs but yes, he survived. :)

my shelves had given up. i have no more books to store on them anyway. i will miss my books. i would have to begin booksale scavenger hunts again to find king, carcaterra, and harris. but like what daddy said -- don't worry about your things, you can always replace them. what's important is, you're all okay. so yea, i'm gonna have my collection back soon (hopefully).

God is always good to me. thank You for always watching over me and my family. i still have it good. i cried watching the news. i'm so grateful for this life. i pray that the people who were devastated by this calamity will be given strength to start from scratch. i pray they will still have a reason to smile, to still be inspired despite all the ruckus and the destruction the typhoons had caused... afterall, hope springs eternal. ^_^ oh and yea -- bless the hearts of those who continue to help out the victims. mabuhay kayo!

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God.
Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Gospel of St. Matthew 5:3-10

stranded!

2009-09-26T16:20:00.002+08:00

STEVE IS FLOATING!
news from my sweets. omg. steve, my trusty fridge! i hope he did not drown, oh please be alive when all this shit's goin to be over!

OUR HOUSE IS DESTROYED!
my books :( my ps2 :( the dvds too! :'(
the tv got saved. and yea, you heard about steve...

but everyone is fine, thank goodness.
more importantly, HALLE is fine!

i told aries it is the end of the world. not true, he says 2012 pa daw.
this is like, what? the third time i got stranded at the office within my 5-year stint at the ceeveegee. milenyo. frank. and what's the name of this crazy bagyo?
thank you to marieness, tim and om g. being stranded was not too bad.

i wanna go home. *sniff*

the toph.

2009-09-24T09:02:00.001+08:00

All the man I am
You are the reason for me, you help me understand
Ill be your shelter from the rain that never ends
Girl, youve always got a friend in me

All the love we had
I shouldve known our love was older than the past
Throwing my life away on songs I never heard
Just the speaking of a special word
I made you die inside but you loved me

And dont believe the world
No, the world cant give us paradise
When you make your love to me
Til I just could not see the light

As long as I got you
As long as I got me
As long as we got you and I

I wont let you down
No better love will be there when you turn around
Ill be living for you till the ocean turns to sand
There will never be any man
Could love you just the way that I love you....

So dont believe the world
No the world cant give us paradise
In the eye within the storm
When I just could not make it through the night

As long as I got you
As long as I got me
As long as we got you and I

So dont believe the world
No the world cant give us paradise
In the eye within the storm
When I just could not make it through the night

As long as I got you
As long as I got me
As long as we got you and I

♥

reklamador... dor... dor...

2009-09-18T10:57:00.002+08:00

andami kong reklamo.
as in.
gusto kong gumawa ng litanya ng mga reklamo ko sa mundo.
di ko alam san ako magsisimula.
nakakasawa shet.
sige hwag na muna ako magsalita.
bigyan pa natin ng onti pang panahon.
pag di na matiis...

Intolerance.

2009-09-11T05:58:00.002+08:00

I don't want to be hostile. I don't want to be dismal. But I don't want to rot in an apathetic existence either. See, I want to believe you, and I want to trust and I want to have faith to put away the dagger. But you lie, cheat, and steal. And yet I tolerate you. Veil of virtue hung to hide your method while I smile and laugh and dance and sing your praise and glory. Shroud of virtue hung to mask your stigma as I smile and laugh and dance and sing your glory while you lie, cheat, and steal. How can I tolerate you? Our guilt, our blame, I've been far too sympathetic. Our blood, our fault. I've been far too sympathetic. I am not innocent. You are not innocent. No one is innocent. I will no longer tolerate you. Even if I must go down beside you. Because, No one is innocent.

http://www.toolband.com/album/lyrics/undertow.html

Truth, The Bitter Truth

2009-09-07T09:12:00.000+08:00

how can you go so low?!

ganun pala yun. hindi ko alam. pasensya.

5 years in the cee vee gee.

2009-09-06T08:17:00.000+08:00

burnout!
[insert soundtrack here: 5 years, sugar hiccup]

tyson

2009-09-05T10:44:00.006+08:00

Sakit ng tenga ko.
Kinagat mo kgabi
04-Sep-2009 08:16

Dami ko kagat. Itinakbo mo pa sasakyan! Tsk. Iba ata epekto sayo pag hard ang inum.hehe
04-Sep-2009 10:01

crazy shit. super dooper z0ned out ako, para akong nang hyperspace bonus at nilamon ng wormhole sa kun san mang kalawakan!

naalala ko tinakbo ko sasakyan, for some reason di ko alam pano imaneho yung oto ni aries, matik ata yun ewan ko ba or talagang sobrang lasing lang ako at di ko na alam pano mag drayb. itinakbo ko ang sasakyan, sakay ko sa harap yung chik ni aries. naknamf! buti walang bumangga samen. buti di ko nabangga yung sasakyan. buti ayos lang kami. buti di ako binangasan ni aries nung nahabol nya kame. naiimagine ko ung mukha ni aries nun. siguro galit pero alam nya di ko alam pinaggagawa ko. lasing ako. thank you mehn at di moko binigyan ng uppercut sa peys!

so syempre, si joe na nag walkout for some reason, kinailangan kong itext para ibalita mga kagaguhang ginawa ko. namiss nya ang aking pagka psycho.

Hahaha pramis? angkulet.nkakatawa un a.anusbe ni tatang?ngmadali ak my pupnta s haus kelngn mauna ak e.
04-Sep-2009 15:03

Bwahahahaha. Ako dmerecho pa inuman pguwi.kaya nga natxt pa kta e.haha nkaktwa ka wild.
04-Sep-2009 15:23

Hahaha.nayare ka ni empoy!
04-Sep-2009 15:29

Haha eto ngrep na c g0ta.ntatwa syo.snbe dn tngkol s tenga nya.hahaha
04-Sep-2009 15:39

ayun.

Dami ko pantal. Galing sa mga kuko mo. May pasa ako sa braso, kinagat mo. Grabe.hehe
04-Sep-2009 15:51

kakahiya, diba?

Wla ka nman cnabing nakakahiya. Pag hinahatak mo lang ako, nakabaon mga kuko mo kya pantal pantal ü
04-Sep-2009 16:35

super nakakahiya. i texted genes, asked her if i hurt her or said anything that was inappropriate last night and i said was sorry.

Wala naman.ü it was all fun last night.ü hehe
04-Sep-2009 16:35

parehos silang sinabi ni aries. "wla problema dun sa kagabi. It's all fun."

nawalan ako ng ulirat. ang maalala ko lang, umalis si joe, hinabol ko pa siya sa labas, nakasalubong ko si ogang (isa sa mga goons kela ate carmen) nagpasama ako sa kanto para hanapin at pabalikin si joe kaso dehins ko na xa nakita. pabalik na kami ni ogang sa bahay nang makasalubong namin si aries at genes. nasa sasakyan na sila, pauwi na ata. ewan ko basta the next thing i remembered was nasa sasakyan nko ni aries, pabalik na kme sa bahay. ipinarada ni aries ang sasakyan sa tapat ng tindahan ni ate carmen. basta for some reason, kami nalang ni genes sa loob. nagkwentuhan kame. siguro madami kaming napag usapan pero iilang parts lang maalala ko. basta sinabi ni genes na si aries lang daw inaantay nya, takot daw sa committment or something like that. i'm pretty sure i remembered that right.

yeah, there was that conversation. and ayun, from the backseat lumipat ako sa driver's seat. pinaandar ko sasakyan ni aries. hindi ko alam bakit talaga. siguro si genes lang ang nakakaalam. ewan ko kung gano kalayo inabot namin. siguro di naman kalayuan kase nahabol pako ni aries nung di ko na alam pano idrive ung sasakyan. tas yun. that was the last thing i remembered.

i don't remember how i got home, how i got to my bed and what time i went to sleep. basta ayun nagising nalang ako na super gutom, masakit ang sikmura. 3am na. 12mn shift ko. text kagad ke boss. text kela jerwin. hindi ako makakapasok, may lagnat. sumuka ako ng napakaacidic. sagwa. nagchowking breakfast kami ni toph at halle. kinwentuhan ako ni topher, para nga daw akong gago. kung anuanong shit pinagsasabi ko bago matulog.

san na yung ano, puta kinabalu? kunin mo ung puta kinabalu!

hell, even the lucid me would not understand what i meant that time.

eto pa, sinasabi ko daw "OI UNG SURGICAL FEE NI ARIES BAYARAN NYO!"

okaaaaaaaaay. ang weird. anuanong shit nga pinagsasabi ko.

oh, and this just in: nakarami daw ako ng halik kay genes!

crazy, crazy shit. seriously.

i wish i remembered!

POTA KINABALU, DUN NA!

2009-09-05T05:28:00.002+08:00

I HAD SO MUCH FUN THAT I COULD NOT REMEMBER.
FUN TIMES! ^_^

maraming salamat kina aries, joe, genes at syempre pa -- ke empoy na dumale saken! yare! :D

talasalitaan

2009-09-03T09:06:00.001+08:00

opisina:
haluhalongkunganuanongmalabongshit.

one day, one room.

2009-09-02T09:21:00.001+08:00

EVE: [calming a bit] Your story. Is it true?

HOUSE: [sighs] True for somebody.

EVE: But not for you.

HOUSE: [getting up] These things happen. Happened to somebody. What do you care if it happened to me?

EVE: They're not in this room.

HOUSE: [loudly] No! They're out there! Doctors, lawyers,... postal workers! Some of them doing great, some of them doing lousy! You're gonna base your whole life on who you got stuck in a room with?

EVE: [stubborn] I'm gonna base this moment on who I'm stuck in a room with. It's what life is. It's a series of rooms. And who we get stuck in those rooms with adds up to what our lives are.

House, MD Season 3 Episode 313: One Day, One Room
http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/house/season3/house-312.htm

2009-09-01T07:56:00.000+08:00

the ladies room here at G5 is so conducive for...
...moving bowels.
hihihi :)

parang atin ang gabi

2009-08-29T21:00:00.005+08:00

nanood ako ng sugarfree kagabi. maayos naman. 'di naman masyadong mataas expectations ko for the night, natuwa lang ako kase i had fun. magaling silang mag-live. the concert was so intimate. yung pwesto ko sobrang lapit sa stage, kung may kakaladkarin si ebe pataas, ako ung sobrang pwdeng pwde kaya sobrang kabado ako. wahahha. conscious. ilang beses kami nag eye-to-eye ni ebe. yikee!

pagkatapos ng sugarfree, i went straight to blueridge. marc's despedida. he's gonna be exiled to malaysia. also, celebration na rin ng employment ni toph. inuman til sunrise. fun times. masaya din. the best fun i had at blueridge since ice's birthday. hehe. chex brought gin premium, sarap kahit straight, no chaser. hihi ^_^

andami ko pang gustong sabihin. pero sige, next time nalang.

lovingly yours, kuya.

2009-08-25T16:21:00.002+08:00

Ryan

are you my cute sister that i love?

4:17pm

Donnadelle

aww

yea

>:D<

4:17pm

Ryan

hurray!

hhehehe

don

4:18pm

Donnadelle

kmsta na imong pamati?

ok na u?

4:18pm

Ryan

ok na me..

don

tsada ayo akong damgo

4:21pm

Donnadelle

unsai damgo nimo?

4:21pm

Ryan

kita duha nasa damgo

short dream actually

4:22pm

Donnadelle

4:22pm

Ryan

suroy2x ko sa park..ambot unsa to name

4:22pm

Donnadelle

tapos?

4:22pm

Ryan

then sa layo, i saw this person sa bench naglingkod

well nkatalikod sya

then ako gi duolan

na surprise ko.. ikaw diay to...

ni tapad ko nimo..then we both smiled

smile nimo na na miss gyud nako og maau..

then gi akbayan daun taka..

then wala na daun

pasabot lang na i really miss you..

4:25pm

Donnadelle

aww

kahilakon ko

i miss you so much kuya

karemember ka sa akong mata sa imong damgo?

sad ba akong mata?

4:26pm

Ryan

nope

happy..

well little eyebags

hahahha

basta happy ka don

4:27pm

Donnadelle

nice

4:27pm

Ryan

its like 3 or 4 years ago na hitsura nimo..

4:27pm

Donnadelle

hehe

4:27pm

ponstan 500

2009-08-23T06:03:00.000+08:00

Tequila is good. naparami ako kagabi, di naman nalasing pero putafuck di ako hinahangover ng ganito. anong oras na? 3pm? tas ansakit pa rin ng ulo ko. nalalasahan ko pa din ang tanginang tequila. ang dry ng lalamunan ko, nakailang gallon na 'ko ng tubig. may drugs ata yung pakenangshet na tequila na yon.

emotion sickness.

2009-08-21T15:18:00.000+08:00

CTRL-ALT-DELETE!

2009-08-19T15:49:00.000+08:00

i. just. can't. quit. you.

911

2009-08-12T17:26:00.000+08:00

Cab nko. w8. Rescue kita
kae 08-08-09 17:07

i was almost teary-eyed then. i was trying to explain why i had a couple of smokes. i just quit smoking and it is never easy. i used to smoke more than 2 packs a day... now i can manage NOT to smoke AT ALL for a full 24hours. it's just difficult for me when i drink and DON'T smoke (it kills me. makes me all nauseous)

anyway, i get it that i don't have to explain myself. i don't have to justify why i had to hide to have a couple of cigs. it's still wrong. no matter which angle you look at it. i knew your intentions were good. everything was for my own good. all i was asking for was understanding. going cold turkey is never easy. you did not have to judge me.

"what do you want us to do? congratulate you?"

i never quit smoking for anyone.

so, fuck you and thank you kae.

heartbreak hotel

2009-08-07T19:22:00.000+08:00

Remembering
Yesterday at 11:36pm
(a repost from bff ice prudente)

I read an excerpt from this wonderful writer named Karen Kunawicz. Back then I was in 2nd year college and I remember the punch-in-the-gut feeling I got when I read it: "Destruction isn't always as noisy as bombs exploding. Sometimes the ultimate catastrophes are as quiet as a feather falling on the floor of a Zen monastery. No one else can really hear your heart breaking except you."

Even with the last sentence, I was able to get what she poignantly meant to express.

I copied the whole article from a site Google referred me to when I decided to look up the entirety of where this paragraph came after all these years. See http://pinoylit.webmanila.com/filipinowriters/kunawicz.htm

Here's a reading fit for a cold rainy night.

The Sound of One Heart Breaking

I still recall the taste of my tears
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears
I just want something
I just want something I can never have.
--Nine Inch Nails
"Something I Can Never Have"

Habang
Napupunit nang dahan-dahan
Ang iyong papel na puso—
Tahimik na tahimik
Tila walang nangyayari.
--Rayvi Sunico
"Kung Paano Magpaalam"

I'm riding high on a deep depression
I'm only happy when it rains
--Garbage
"I'm Only Happy When It Rains"

EVER COME ACROSS this Zen koan that JD Salinger used in one of his books? You know the one that asks what's the sound of one hand clapping. I don't know the answer to that one. But ask me what’s the sound of one heart breaking and I might provide you with some answers.

This piece started out as a journal entry written early last year, it got reworked into a Times column. I’ve added a few things here and there and now it’s here back to back with another piece by Constantine (which I purposely put after this one so you won’t go away depressed). Welcome to the dark side of love.

[Note: This was published in the April 29, 1996 edition of Mirror Weekly. I won’t show Constantine’s article since I don’t have his permission. --PinoyLit]

* * *

What is the sound of a heart breaking?

It is the sound of someone curled up in a tiny ball crying softly in the night, the sound of the first unwanted teardrop touching your skin, it's the sound of a telephone that doesn't ring, the sound of regret pounding inside your brain with every heartbeat, it's the whispers of the toy animals he gave you.

It's the shuffling of feet walking away from you, the sound of your soul shattering into a million pieces at recognizing the word "goodbye," it’s the soundtrack of memories torturing you, it's the sound of feeble hands trying to push back the obstinate hands of time, it's the sound of a cherub's dying breath, the sound of all those years disappearing in the vortex of Cupid's kitchen sink, it's the unrelenting plaintive baby meows of an abandoned kitten outside an ignoring door.

It's the sound of the rain that doesn't ever stop, the sound of all the doors shutting and closing in your face at the same time, of raging, howling storms in the night when there's no one there to hold you, the sound of your voice as it screams back at you, the echo of "I love yous" burning holes in you, the sound your heart makes as it tells you to lie still because nothing you will ever do will matter without love.

The sound of the waves of the polluted beach you went to as it moves from the shore and crashes inside your mind, of the sniffles that make up your pathetic "SOS-to-the-world," the cracking of the brittle black-red petals from the sidewalk vendor roses he gave, the sound of the music he used to make going to your gut.

The sound of things in your room being thrown around and landing on the floor, the caress of kitchen knives on skin, the sound your throat makes as you swallow your saltiest tear.

It's the sound of your own voice calling out to someone who isn't there, of dying birds getting splattered on a city pavement, of terms of endearment used a hundred times a day struggling to crawl into a vacuum of forgetfulness, it's the sound of your own sobs keeping you company, it's the cold, uncaring stillness of the air you share your space with.

Destruction isn't always as noisy as bombs exploding. Sometimes the ultimate catastrophes are as quiet as a feather falling on the floor of a Zen monastery. No one else can really hear your heart breaking except you.

yellow.

2009-08-04T22:42:00.000+08:00

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow,

I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow

So then I took my turn
Oh all the things I've done
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know you know I love you so
You know I love you so

I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh all the things you do
Cause you were all yellow

I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know for you i bleed myself dry
For you i bleed myself dry

Its true look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine
look at the stars look how they shine for you

she.

2009-08-03T16:31:00.000+08:00

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before, she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters?

She’s not perfect, you aren’t either, the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, admit to being human & making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can.

She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break; her heart.

So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze, and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.

-Robert Nesta Marley

LSS.

2009-07-31T12:36:00.001+08:00

If there's a tear on my face
It makes me shiver to the bone
It shakes me, Babe
It's just a heartache that got caught in my eye
And you know I never cry, I never cry
Sometimes I drink more than I need
Until the TV's dead and gone
I may be lonely
But I'm never alone
And the night may pass me by
But I never cry
Take away, take away my eyes
Sometimes I'd rather be blind
Break a heart, break a heart of stone
Open it up but don't you leave it alone
'Cuz that's all I got to give you
Believe me Babe, it ain't been used
My heart's a virgin, it ain't never been tried
and you know I never cry
and you know I never cry
and you know you know you know you know
I never cry, I never cry
Break a heart, break a heart of stone
Open it up, but don't you leave it alone
'Cuz that's all I got to give you
Believe me Babe, it ain't been used
My heart's a virgin it ain't never been tried
And you know I never cry
I never cry

lethargic stupor

2009-07-30T10:08:00.000+08:00

i hope i snap out of this.

6th day

2009-07-25T04:47:00.000+08:00

not smoking kills me.
but if it makes you happy, why not?

crying like a church on monday

2009-07-11T13:07:00.000+08:00

...

sir ralph cecilio's must-read 100

2009-07-09T08:00:00.000+08:00

1. ULYSSES by James Joyce
2. THE GREAT GATSBY by F. Scott Fitzgerald
3. A PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MAN by James Joyce
4. LOLITA by Vladimir Nabokov
5. BRAVE NEW WORLD by Aldous Huxley
6. THE SOUND AND THE FURY by William Faulkner
7. CATCH-22
8. DARKNESS AT NOON by Arthur Koestler
9. SONS AND LOVERS by D.H. Lawrence
10. THE GRAPES OF WRATH by John Steinbeck
11. UNDER THE VOLCANO by Malcolm Lowry
12. THE WAY OF ALL FLESH by Samuel Butler
13. 1984 by George Orwell
14. I, CLAUDIUS by Robert Graves
15. TO THE LIGHTHOUSE by Virginia Woolf
16. AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY by Theodore Dreiser
17. THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER by Carson McCullers
18. SLAUGHTERHOUSE-FIVE by Kurt Vonnegut
19. INVISIBLE MAN by Ralph Ellison
20. NATIVE SON by Richard Wright
21. HENDERSON THE RAIN KING by Saul Bellow
22. APPOINTMENT IN SAMARRA by John O'Hara
23. U.S.A. (trilogy) by John Dos Passos
24. WINESBURG, OHIO by Sherwood Anderson
25. A PASSAGE TO INDIA by E.M. Forster
26. THE WINGS OF THE DOVE by Henry James
27. THE AMBASSADORS by Henry James
28. TENDER IS THE NIGHT by F. Scott Fitzgerald
29. THE STUDS LONIGAN TRILOGY by James T. Farrell
30. THE GOOD SOLDIER by Ford Madox Ford
31. ANIMAL FARM by George Orwell
32. THE GOLDEN BOWL by Henry James
33. SISTER CARRIE by Theodore Dreiser
34. A HANDFUL OF DUST by Evelyn Waugh
35. AS I LAY DYING by William Faulkner
36. ALL THE KING'S MEN by Robert Penn Warren
37. THE BRIDGE OF SAN LUIS REY by Thornton Wilder
38. HOWARDS END by E.M. Forster
39. GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN by James Baldwin
40. THE HEART OF THE MATTER by Graham Greene
41. LORD OF THE FLIES by William Golding
42. DELIVERANCE by James Dickey
43. A DANCE TO THE MUSIC OF TIME (series) by Anthony Powell
44. POINT COUNTER POINT by Aldous Huxley
45. THE SUN ALSO RISES by Ernest Hemingway
46. THE SECRET AGENT by Joseph Conrad
47. NOSTROMO by Joseph Conrad
48. THE RAINBOW by D.H. Lawrence
49. WOMEN IN LOVE by D.H. Lawrence
50. TROPIC OF CANCER by Henry Miller
51. THE NAKED AND THE DEAD by Norman Mailer
52. PORTNOY'S COMPLAINT by Philip Roth
53. PALE FIRE by Vladimir Nabokov
54. LIGHT IN AUGUST by William Faulkner
55. ON THE ROAD by Jack Kerouac
56. THE MALTESE FALCON by Dashiell Hammett
57. PARADE'S END by Ford Madox Ford
58. THE AGE OF INNOCENCE by Edith Wharton
59. ZULEIKA DOBSON by Max Beerbohm
60. THE MOVIEGOER by Walker Percy
61. DEATH COMES FOR THE ARCHBISHOP by Willa Cather
62. FROM HERE TO ETERNITY by James Jones
63. THE WAPSHOT CHRONICLES by John Cheever
64. THE CATCHER IN THE RYE by J.D. Salinger
65. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE by Anthony Burgess
66. OF HUMAN BONDAGE by W. Somerset Maugham
67. HEART OF DARKNESS by Joseph Conrad
68. MAIN STREET by Sinclair Lewis
69. THE HOUSE OF MIRTH by Edith Wharton
70. THE ALEXANDRIA QUARTET by Lawrence Durell
71. A HIGH WIND IN JAMAICA by Richard Hughes
72. A HOUSE FOR MR BISWAS by V.S. Naipaul
73. THE DAY OF THE LOCUST by Nathanael West
74. A FAREWELL TO ARMS by Ernest Hemingway
75. SCOOP by Evelyn Waugh
76. THE PRIME OF MISS JEAN BRODIE by Muriel Spark
77. FINNEGANS WAKE by James Joyce
78. KIM by Rudyard Kipling
79. A ROOM WITH A VIEW by E.M. Forster
80. BRIDESHEAD REVISITED by Evelyn Waugh
81. THE ADVENTURES OF AUGIE MARCH by Saul Bellow
82. ANGLE OF REPOSE by Wallace Stegner
83. A BEND IN THE RIVER by V.S. Naipaul
84. THE DEATH OF THE HEART by Elizabeth Bowen
85. LORD JIM by Joseph Conrad
86. RAGTIME by E.L. Doctorow
87. THE OLD WIVES' TALE by Arnold Bennett
88. THE CALL OF THE WILD by Jack London
89. LOVING by Henry Green
90. MIDNIGHT'S CHILDREN by Salman Rushdie
91. TOBACCO ROAD by Erskine Caldwell
92. IRONWEED by William Kennedy
93. THE MAGUS by John Fowles
94. WIDE SARGASSO SEA by Jean Rhys
95. UNDER THE NET by Iris Murdoch
96. SOPHIE'S CHOICE by William Styron
97. THE SHELTERING SKY by Paul Bowles
98. THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE by James M. Cain
99. THE GINGER MAN by J.P. Donleavy
100. THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS by Booth Tarkington

sir ralph is just the best english lit teacher i ever had.
i miss highschool. i miss reading.

27.

2009-07-03T18:51:00.000+08:00

whoopeedoo! happy birthday to me!
(ignore the sarcasm)

i have got a lot to be thankful for, but yet...

maynard james keenan.

2009-06-30T10:17:00.000+08:00

Something has to change. Undeniable dilemma. Boredom's not a burden anyone should bear. Constant over stimulation numbs me and I wouldn't have it any other way. It's not enough. I need more. Nothing seems to satisfy. I don't want it. I just need it. To feel, to breathe, to know I'm alive. Finger deep within the borderline. Show me that you love me and that we belong together. Relax, turn around and take my hand. I can help you change tired moments into pleasure. Say the word and we'll be well upon our way. Blend and balance pain and comfort deep within youtill you will not have me any other way. It's not enough. I need more. Nothing seems to satisfy. I don't want it. I just need it. To feel, to breathe, to know I'm alive. Knuckle deep inside the borderline. This may hurt a little but it's something you'll get used to. Relax. Slip away. Something kinda sad about the way that things have come to be. Desensitized to everything. What became of subtlety? How can it mean anything to me if I really don't feel anything at all? I'll keep digging till I feel something. Elbow deep inside the borderline. Show me that you love me and that we belong together. Shoulder deep within the borderline. Relax, turn around and take my hand.

razorblade suitcase.

2009-06-28T19:08:00.000+08:00

straight no chaser

bush

always be there face i live with
always be there face i live with
abscess memory with broken fingers
all the fallen down angels raw pain distress
it's all
in the way we know that we could have it all
some
satellites of pain can't always be ignored
war on all sides
war on all sides

drink life as it comes straight no chaser
life as it comes straight no chaser
climb inside you away from strangers
building a system of alleys and motorways
it's all
in the way we know
we could have it all
some
satellites of pain can't always be ignored
it's all in the face of what we thought we knew before
war on all sides
war on all sides
war on all sides

keep on driving hair left morning wet
there's nothing like losing you
there's nothing like losing you
there's nothing like losing you
there's nothing like losing you

straight no chaser

2009-06-28T16:12:00.000+08:00

I can tell by your eyes that you've prob'bly been cryin' forever,
and the stars in the sky don't mean nothin' to you, they're a mirror.
I don't wanna talk about it, how you broke my heart.
but if I stay here just a little bit longer,
If I stay here, won't you listen to my heart, whoa, my heart?

If I stand all alone, will the shadow hide the colors of my heart;
blue for the tears, black for the night's fears.
The star in the sky don't mean nothin' to you, they're a mirror.
I don't wanna talk about it, how you broke my heart.
but if I stay here just a little bit longer,
if I stay here, won't you listen to my heart, whoa, my heart?
my heart, whoa my heart, this ol' heart.

I don't wanna talk about it, how you broke my heart,
but if I stay here just a little bit longer,
if I stay here, won't you listen to my heart, whoa, my heart?
My heart, whoa, my heart.

i don't wanna talk about it

-rod stewart

SSDD*

2009-06-12T10:20:00.000+08:00

i'm tired of the same old crap.
people giving me shit! heck, i've been here for so long!
you dare question my judgement?
why ask a question or ask for help in the first place if you are not going to take my word for it?
i say, wtf - go to hell.
so much for helping.

*same shit, different day.

God is good.

2009-06-09T15:07:00.000+08:00

hindi ito kung anuanong shit na basta basta lang para may ilagay dito.

nagdiriwang ang aking puso dahil alam ko na may Diyos at alam kong mahal Nya ako.
naghihirap ako at wala na talaga akong pera, peksman.
naglalakad ako sa ayala avenue kasama mga tropa ko sa opisina, bigla lang akong napatingin sa aking niyayapakan at biglang may kulay ube na nakakulubot!
ito ay aking pinulot at aba, akalain mo -- isang daang piso!!!

dahil dito ay may pambili na ako ng paborito kong pan de coco.
hindi pa ako kumakain simula kagabi. lunch ko sa opis yung pang binigay lang sa akin na blue seal na marlboro menthol lights (langya, menthol pa! onga pala, beggars can't be choosers).

MAY DIYOS AT MAHAL NYA AKO.

Amen.

kaeklavuhan ni Bob Ong na sobrang true naman.

2009-05-26T11:11:00.001+08:00

Eto ay mga words of wisdom galing kay Bob Ong. Nakuha ko lamang ito sa isang email na pinadala sa akin ng aking kaibigan. Basahin nyo at kayo ay matutuwa. Mukha syang kalokohan, pero meron talagang katotohanan sa mga sinasabi nya...

Go! go! basahin mo :)

1. "Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya.."

2. "Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba."

3. "Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."

4. "Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."

5. "Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin."

6. "Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo… Dapat lumandi ka din."

7. "Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."

8. "Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa."

9. "Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang."

10. "Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una."

11. "Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa."

12. "Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totoong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka."

13. "Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority."

14. "Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili nya."

15. "Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo."

16. "Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala"

17. "Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan"

18. "Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"

19. "Pakawalan mo yung mga bagay na nakakasakit sa iyo kahit na pinasasaya ka nito. Wag mong hintayin ang araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo."

20. "Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang mga taong malalapit sa iyo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo."

21. "Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal...nakakatakot mahulog...at kapag nahulog ka, it's either by accident or talagang tanga ka.."

22. Lahat naman ng tao sumeseryoso pagtinamaan ng pagmamahal,
Yun nga lang hindi lahat matibay sa temtasyon.
Hindi lungkot o takot ang mahirap sa pag-iisa
kundi ang pagtanggap na sa bilyon-bilyong tao sa mundo,
wala man lang nakipaglaban upang makasama ka."

23. "Mangarap ka at abutin mo.
Wag mong sisihin ang sira mong pamilya,
palpak mong syota, pilay mong tuta, o mga lumilipad na ipis.
Kung may pagkukulang sa'yo mga magulang mo,
pwde kang manisi at maging rebelde.
Tumigil ka sa pag-aaral, mag-asawa ka, mag-drugs ka,
magpakulay ka ng buhok sa kili-kili. Sa bandang huli, ikaw din ang biktima.
Rebeldeng walang napatunayan at bait sa sarili."

24. nalaman kong hindi final exam ang passing rate ng buhay.
hindi ito multiple choice, identification, true or false,
enumeration or fill-in-the- blanks na sinasagutan
kundi essay na isinusulat araw-araw.
Huhusgahan ito hindi base sa kung tama o mali ang sagot,
kundi base sa kung may kabuluhan ang mga isinulat o wala.
Allowed ang erasures."
Ayokong nasasanay sa mga bagay na pwede namang wala sa buhay ko.
hinahanap mo nga ba ako o ang kawalan ko?

25. Kumain ka na ng siopao na may palamang pusa o maglakad ksa bubog na nakayapak,
pero wag kang sumubok magdrugs.
Kung hindi mo kayang umiwas,
humingi ka ng tulong sa mga magulang mo
dahil alam nila kung saan ang mga murang supplier
at siguradong hindi ka nila iisahan

26. mag-aral maigi, kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral,
manghihinayang ka sa pagtanda mo
dahil ni hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga araw na walang pasok
o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher.

27. “Sabi nila, sa kahit ano raw problema,
isang tao lang ang makakatulong sa’yo - ang sarili mo.
Tama sila. Isinuplong ako ng sarili ko.
Kaya siguro namigay ng konsyensya ang Diyos,
alam niyang hindi sa lahat ng oras e gumagana ang utak ng tao.”
Iba ang tinititigan sa tinitingnan, ang tinititigan, sa isang bahagi lang nakatingin,
ang tinitingnan, buong bahagi ang sinusuri. Iba rin ang iniintindi sa inuunawa.
Ang iniintindi, pinipilit sa isipan.
Ang inuunawa, alam kung bakit dapat ipilit sa isipan.
Kaya dapat tinitingna ang mga bagay para maunawaan.
At hindi tititigan lang at intindihin.
Kung tutuusin, hindi naman masarap ang alak,
yung mga kainuman lang ang nagpapasarap.

28. Mas madaling ngumiti kahit di ka masaya kaysa ipaliwanag kung bakit malungkot ka.

29. Pag binisita ka ng idea, gana,
o inspirasyon, kailangan mong itigil LAHAT ng ginagawa mo
para lang di masayang ang pagkakataon.
walang taong manhid, hindi nya lang talaga maintindihan kung ano ang gusto mong iparating
dahil ayaw mo syang diretsuhain

30. Ang babae, nirerespeto, inaalagaan!
Hindi 'yan PSP na bubunutin mo lang sa bulsa 'pag gusto mo ng paglaruan.
Hindi 'yan iPod na papakinggan mo lang kapag wala kang libangan.
At hindi 'yan Red Horse na p'wede mong laklakin hanggang madaling-araw.
Ang babae, marami mang arte sa katawan, hindi 'yan gadget para kolektahin at paglaruan.

31. Bakit ka magpaparamdam sa taong hindi marunong makaramdam?
'Wag kang magpakatanga, sa taong hindi marunong magpahalaga.
Matuto kang sumuko at mang-iwan, kung lagi ka namang sinasaktan.

32. Imbis na magtanong ka ng 'Hindi pa ba sapat?',
bakit hindi mo na lang kalimutan ang lahat?
Kung alam mong binabalewala ka na, tanggapin mong nagsasawa na s'ya.

33. Wag kang magpadala sa salitang 'sorry' at 'ayokong mawala ka.'
Kung totoo 'yun, patunayan n'ya.

34. Paano mo masasabing special ka sa isang tao
kung ang bawat ginagawa niya sa'yo ay ginagawa din n'ya sa iba?

35. Minsan pala kailangan rin ang lakas para sabihing mahina ka,
ang karapatan kong madapa at bumangon sa buhay ng walang tatatawa,
magagalit, magtatanong o magbibilang kung ilang beses na kong nagkamali at ilang ulit ako dapat bumawi.

36. Bakit ba ayaw matulog ng mga bata sa tanghali?
Alam ba nilang 'pag natuto silang umibig eh hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila?

37. Kahit ikaw ay parang bato na manhid at walang pakiramdam,
mag-ingat-ingat ka naman. Dahil kahit ganyan ka, hindi nasasaktan,
kaya mo namang makasakit.

38. Ganyan talaga ang mga tao,
pipihit-pihitin ang katotohanan hanggang sa sumang-ayon na ito sa kumportableng posisyon ng mga makasarili nilang puso.

39. Hindi naman yung taong mahal mo ang mahirap kalimutan nung nawala sya sa'yo eh,
kundi yung taong naging ikaw dahil sa kanya.

dunnah*delirious

birthday na ni daddy bukas...

Cancer.

what's my favorite color?

Show and Tell Thursdays!

want

Let's run, Cebu!

look at us

fuck this shit.

Echo (Trapt)

LSS

watching the time go by

hits.

tanghalian.

impromptu salad

slacking?

fish fillets!

sweetie is getting married!

praning.

jogging with H.

i don't get it.

nobody deserves such a tragedy as the tsunami in Japan. it's not a friggin' joke you guys. karma? what has karma got to do with this shit? i came across this* on tumblr and i was like, WTF? i can only shake my head. such hypocrites.

there is order in chaos.

agutayan reef and marine sanctuary

revisiting.

beach-bound!

H in Lomo

MNL

which one?

H and the donners

putanesca for the heart.

ULAAAAAAAAAN!

pets.

kamote!

i'm a big bully.

thank you, rommel!

choco-almond overload!

spanish style bangus

ako :)

mama makes a mean pancake.

H went jogging today :)

7th

from chex

kitchen adventure

mama is on cyberspace!

ulan!

gigantically enormous!

awesome

testing

connecting link

day three.

jogging :)

never too late...

broccoli

home sweet home

a penny for my thoughts

Twat?!

homeward bound.

people stay in cagayan... (mukanta ang nakabalo)

for some reason...

dang it!

the mummy.

things i have in the closet

back to the CGY!

after ondoy.

stranded!

the toph.

reklamador... dor... dor...

Intolerance.

Truth, The Bitter Truth

5 years in the cee vee gee.

tyson

POTA KINABALU, DUN NA!

talasalitaan

one day, one room.

parang atin ang gabi

lovingly yours, kuya.

ponstan 500

emotion sickness.

911

nobody deserves such a tragedy as the tsunami in Japan. it's not a friggin' joke you guys. karma? what has karma got to do with this shit?

i came across this* on tumblr and i was like, WTF? i can only shake my head.

such hypocrites.